hamtaryo:

darrynek:

*high fives you with my penis*

image

human:

petition to have That’s So Raven added to Netflix 

  • mom: don't eat the cookies yet, they just came out of the oven and are too hot
  • me: fire cannot kill a dragon
  • blondiesaywut:

New phone vs. old phone can you tell which is which lol
    644

    egberts:

    driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons

    plasticbagvevo:

    *walks past mirror*

    *walks back*

    *cries*

    warsquirtle:

    Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

    spoken-not-written:

    renaroo123:

    spoken-not-written:

    I WAS TAKING A SELFIE AND WAS GONNA MAKE A TEXT POST SAYING HI I’M PETER PAN BUT MY GRANDMA SAW ME AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO TERRIFIED AND THIS HAPPENED

    image

    Jake that’s a pot…

    You’re a pot.

    actualucifer:

    AND DON’T

    FUCKING

    TELL PEOPLE

    THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING

    BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT

    JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING

    tyleroakley:

    when I add my own caption to a post

    image

    braydaaan:

    do you ever just realise you’re almost an adult and you have no money 

    nickcarragay:

    isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like “I don’t know how to hold a pencil”

    flowury:

    i want to sit on a kitchen counter in my underwear at 3 am with you and talk about the universe